Brit-Girl

Tabloid Void

2007-09-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I had complete blogger’s block (like writer’s block…geddit?) while trying in vain to write this all day. It’s not that I couldn’t write, I couldn’t think of what to blog about. So, while I sat there doing my daily rounds of the British red tops (on my lunch break of course) it suddenly dawned on me that I read more British news than Canadian… and I’ve been here for over a year!

It’s not that I haven’t tried, it’s just Canadian papers are B-O-R-I-N-G. British tabloids make me laugh. They push the line. They speak to a nation and they pull at the heartstrings. The Sun and it's Sunday paper, The News of the World headlines have been dominated in recent weeks by the tragic story of little Madeleine McCann. The story has captured the nation’s hearts (and mine) and we are all on tenderhooks awaiting the outcome of her parents suspect status. Papers like The Sun give us the essentials of what is happening (but not too much to bore) and scream at us from the newsstands – Cops Want Cuddle Cat; Maddie ‘Dumped In The Sea’. We have to buy it. It’s only 30p.

Funnily enough, the word "tabloid" comes from the Latin word tob, which refers to human waste products. The idea of compressed tablet was later applied to "compacted" journalism that concentrates stories into a simplified, easily-absorbed format. It gives a whole new meaning to why my father asks me “why do you read that sh*t?” He is a reader of The Times which, along with most of the old fashioned broadsheets in the UK, changed to a tabloid size in recent years – though they aren’t willing to call themselves that, and are, in fact, known as “compacts”.

I suppose one blatant thing that separates the tabloids and the compacts is the colour of their “top”. True tabloids are red topped – The Daily Mirror, The Daily Sport, The Daily Star and The Sun. Compacts are black topped – The Times, The Daily Mail , The Independent , The Guardian, and so forth. Tabloids also seem to follow rules – they always have sensational headlines; they tend to focus more on celebrity and showbiz than the compacts; they are more ready to take an overt political standpoint – which guarantees them a loyal following with an occasional crossover of readers, though most people in the UK have ‘a paper’ and stick to it like glue. Unless the headline next to it is better, of course.

My paper is The Sun. I love the headlines. I love the Bizarre column. I love the sarcasm and the fact they say what’s on the public’s mind. I love the fact that The Sun sells nearly 3.5 million copies per day (5 times more than The Times). I love the fact that their readership is nigh on 8,000,000 EVERY DAY. I love the fact the editor, Rebekah Wade was arrested for alleged husband battery while the paper was running a campaign against domestic violence.

And finally there’s the Page Three Girl. A random topless woman on the third page of the newspaper. Introduced to the Sun in 1969, and finally topless in 1970, this little bit of flesh increased sales by 40%. But that’s another blog.

We're in Canada... Please Do Not Swear!

2007-08-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

One of the most apparently different things to me between the British and the Canadian language is swearing. I love to swear. Most brit’s do. But it is rude, and I’m just learning that. I find myself “hushing” my boyfriend if we’re in Loblaw’s in Barrhaven now and he is swearing loudly. Now, if we were in Sainsbury’s in East Dulwich I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, and nor would anyone else for that matter – if anything I would get a cheeky smile from another shopper.

Swearing is implemented in the culture in Britain. You’re brought up with swearing. My boyfriend’s nephew is just learning to talk and it’s considered cute when he says the “f” word or has some attitude about him. During my meetings at work in London, people wouldn’t think twice about chucking out the “s”, “f” or – god forbid – the “c” word over tea and biscuits. It’s become a part of who we are, and we’re proud of it.

It takes more than just a simple 'bloody' to swear like a Brit. Most British swear-words have a history longer than that of North America itself, evolving out of even older European languages such as Norse, High German and Latin (hence British phrases like 'pardon my French').

Highly British swear words tend to have evolved over many, many years and are often a result of age-old words that didn’t intend to offend. The Sex Pistols album, Never Mind the Bollocks, was saved from censorship due to it being derived from the words ‘bullock block’ which is a pulley-block at the head of a topmast. Now the actual meaning of the word ‘bollocks’ is something completely different.

An amusing word to me is fanny. To American’s and Canadian’s alike it means bum. To the brit’s it means the… front bottom, to say it politely. Another word for this, a-hem, front bottom is the “c” word. One of the most offensive terms for female genitalia, the “c” word is the ultimate four-letter word in British English, the final media taboo – finally airing on television at prime time in 1999. The word has Germanic cognates including old Norse (kunta), middle-Dutch (Kunte) and possibly High German (Kotze meaning prostitute), which all point to a pre-historic Germanic ancestor kunton. The word would appear to have entered the English language during the early Middle Ages; in 1230AD, both Oxford and London boasted districts called 'Gropecunte Lane', in reference to the prostitutes that worked there. Records do not show whether it was a decision of intentional irony that eventually placed the Bank of England there. The abusive term 'Berk' also derives from this word, being cockney rhyming slang, short for 'Berkshire Hunt'.

French Connection hit the marketing world on the nail when they came up with their play on the “f” word, and printed tops with their abbreviated logo F.C.U.K. This clever play on letters, which was discovered when a fax was sent from Hong Kong branch FCHK to FCUK, hit stores in April 1997 and was an instant hit. The marketing gurus came up with a plethora of slogans – “too busy to f.c.u.k”, “great f.c.u.k”, “f.c.u.k. off” and so on. I was 16 when this came out and it was the must have item that summer… and every summer still, French Connection brings out more witty slogans.

The “f” word is perhaps the most versatile of all swear words, and I would go out on a limb and say it is Britain’s favorite. When it first was broadcast on television in 1965, being uttered by Kenneth Tynan, it caused considerable scandal, albeit without mention anywhere of what he said. (It was: "I doubt if there are any rational people to whom the word f**k would be particularly diabolical, revolting or totally forbidden.) Again, the Sex Pistols broke the rules and said it repeatedly in their 1975 interview on Thames Today, infuriating presenter Bill Grundy. The word, as I said, is versatile which perhaps makes it the most commonly used in everyday life – according to an internet wit called Nick Lohr, it is “the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love – f**k falls into many grammatical categories, as a transitive verb, for instance: 'John f**ked Shirley.' As an intransitive verb: 'Shirley f**ks.' It's meaning is not always sexual; it can be used as an adjective, such as 'John is doing all the f**king work'; as part of an adverb: 'Shirley talks too f**king much'; as an adverb enhancing an adjective: 'Shirley is f**king beautiful'; as a noun: 'I don't give a f**k'; as part of a word: 'abso-f**king-lutely' or 'in-f**king-credible'; and as almost every word in the sentence: 'F**k the f**king f**kers”.

So there you have it, a brit’s take on swearing. It’s not because we’re rude, we just don’t know any better. And we love it.

PS. did you notice I did the whole article without actually swearing!?

A bit about moi...

2007-07-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

Hello there! I thought I would start my blog with a little bit about little old me:

Right, I was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada though to hear me you wouldn't believe it. I grew up in Tulsa, OK but again I got rid of that accent pretty quick too. I moved to England when I was 11 and stayed there for the next 15 years - I have recently returned to my roots and ended up back in Ottawa in June 2006.

In London I worked in television. Well, after going through school, college and university. I worked for the largest independent production company in the UK called Granada TV, they make Coronation Street and a lot of other very popular shows. I worked there for nearly 4 years - from October 2002 to June 2006 - and worked my way up through the ranks from work experience, to junior researcher, to researcher, to senior researcher to assistant producer (AP) and finally I was a shooting AP.

At Granada I worked on gritty and not so gritty factual programming. When I started I did a couple of installments of the "From Hell" series (Diets From Hell and Facelifts From Hell) - great car crash and tabloid TV. And really great experience in people finding... and learning how to get them to say and do what you want. After that I worked on a BAFTA nominated series called House of Horrors where the production team pose as householders and expose dodgy tradesmen - again great for the research skill building and for the CV!

After this I went to work on the first of (I think) 4 series of 60 Minute Makeover - a house makeover show that is done in, you guessed it, 60 minutes! Now that was great for the organising and planning, as well as blagging - I don't know if it's a purely British term, but "to blag" is to get something for free. In the case of 60mm, I was blagging for other people's homes. And the companies that we blagged from did get some exposure. I did 3 series of 60mm and watched it change from a normal series to a surprise and went from researcher to AP on this show.

Somewhere in the 60mm lull between series, I also worked on New Homes from Hell - by far the worst (for me) "from hell" I ever had to work on. I am not a builder, carpenter or even a house owner so why do I give a toss that people's houses are 1 inch off the foundations or whatever visually (and verbally) boring problem you have?! Another thing that made this show, well "from hell" (I couldn't resist) was my boss... ever read "The Devil Wears Prada"? Think about her but add Freddy Kruger and you'll have an idea of what I faced on that show. But you're still not close. She's a different story all together.

Anyway, after my 3rd series of 60mm I did some edit producing on another "from hell" (Staff) which was really good experience but probably my worst show I worked on there as I was mainly on my own - I work so much better in a team. I then went on to work as a shooting AP on Just Jade - with the ever delightful Jade Goody. Now this was a great show to work on - it was basically following Jade for 6 months while she (we) created a perfume. I got to go to Mumbai & Goa in India, Nassau, the Cannes film festival (not to mention the MTV Party at Pierre Cardin's villa) and Grasse, France - the perfume capital of the world. Now those were the highlights of working on the show. We also spent a lot of time in Essex. With Jade. Just Google the girl, or youtube her, and you will see. She's recently been behind the huge racism scandal in Big Brother in the UK and her career has been pretty much destroyed - kind of ironic that Big Brother made her and broke her... it also shows the British public's obsession with reality TV pretty well too.

So there we have it. Me in a nutshell. Some people ask me why the hell did you trade London for Ottawa? Well, I ask myself that question sometimes too. It really was a life choice - my boyfriend and I decided that we'd had enough of city life and both love the country so why the hell not? And me being Canadian had a lot to do with the decision as well! I am now working back in TV here in Ottawa... it surely is very different.